Healthy boundaries in christian dating

If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.


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Prayer is a time of exposing your heart and getting emotionally naked before the Lord. Talk about an intimate moment. Pursue God individually so as not to allow your spiritual relationship to become a trio prematurely. Naturally, two people getting to know each other in a dating relationship have a strong desire to spend time together.

Being together seems like the natural route of relationship building, and so many couples try to maximize the amount of time they invest in one another, not realizing that there is great benefit in physical distance. Just as crucial as spending time together is spending time apart. Time apart reveals so much about a relationship. The independence it allows will later translate to interdependence — two independent individuals choosing to rely on one another. Couples who spend an unhealthy amount of time together may become enmeshed, losing their independence.

Be cautious of the emotional entanglements that can arise when two become one prematurely by investing all of their time into a relationship. Set aside quality time for your relationship, but be sure to set aside quality time for yourself — for your relationship with God, your ministries, your hobbies, your family and friends. You were never meant to lose yourself within a dating relationship; rather you were meant to enhance yourself.

Any counselor will tell you that there is a reputable kind of therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy. The idea behind this method of healing is that how you think has a direct impact on how you feel. But on the flipside, the unfulfilled hope of a dating relationship turning into a breakup rather than a marriage can make a heart sick. Any breakup is going to hurt because all dating relationships have hope in them, and when hope is deferred the heart grows sick.

The higher the hope was, the more the heart is going to hurt if that hope is deferred. Dating for a week and then breaking up will hurt but not nearly as bad as breaking up during the engagement period because your hope was so much bigger and closer to becoming reality. Therefore you should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship.

"It's Only Hugging" - Boundaries In Christian Dating

Ask God to give you healthy and realistic levels. List your goals for each season of the Christian dating relationship and try to balance your emotions with logic. Dating needs to be vulnerable. You just need to be wise as well. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. So to guard you heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian dating relationship is actually in.

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If this one is not on your list of Christian dating boundaries, something is wrong with you. How far is too far? What are you aloud to do in dating? Anything done with your spouse is good. Anything done without your spouse is sin. I get these two categories from 1 Corinthians 7: So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating.

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Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within: Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin. Sexual experiences with your spouse are good.

Guard Your Heart

The trickier part will be to define what is an act rooted in sexual desire and what is an act that is simply a sign of affection. Read the article for more on this. This list of important dating boundaries for Christians could go on and on. When Christians abstain from sexual sin, I think the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense.

Because where your conversation goes…your heart will go, too. Scripture is full of specific instructions on how we should treat each other. Set aside time to think through and pray through them.

Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in establishing reasonable, healthy, God-honoring emotional boundaries that will help protect both you and your special someone. Then actually put them in writing and have a friend hold you accountable to them. Revisit them now and then to assess whether you are keeping your commitment. Dating is a great opportunity to learn more about yourself, and to know and be known by others.

Just remain alert and watchful. Be aware that emotional intimacy can carry you much deeper into your relationship than you ever intended to go, resulting in the double cost of a broken heart and a broken spirit. And, the reward is that your life will resemble springs of living water!

Alisa Grace '92 serves as a consultant to the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class on Christian perspectives on marriage and relationships. While she speaks regularly on topics such as dating relationships, marriage and love, she also loves mentoring younger women and newly married couples, speaking at retreats and providing premarital counseling.

5 Christian Dating Boundaries | rilltemiclofe.cf

Too Much, Too Soon? Alisa Grace Alisa Grace '92 serves as a consultant to the Biola University Center for Marriage and Relationships where she also co-teaches a class on Christian perspectives on marriage and relationships. Subscribe To Our Newsletter. Connect Facebook Twitter Instagram.